Assumptions

Whether it’s a cashier at the grocery store, a new coworker, or someone at church, I interact with new people daily.

The one thing in common about these scenarios is that I don’t know who these people really are. It’s my first time interacting with them, and first impressions can only tell you so much.

I like to think I’m pretty good at reading people. But that really means I make educated assumptions about who these people are when I’ve only just met them.

But these are just assumptions. Inferences. Guesses based on previous experiences.

In reality, I don’t truly know who these people are. I don’t know what they do for work or if they go to school. I don’t know if they like reading or cars, or if they have a pet cat or if they’ve traveled the world. I don’t know if they love movies or video games, nor do I know if they feel fulfilled or what their deep desires are.

And most importantly, I don’t know if they’re going through a tough season of life… or if they’re having the best day they’ve ever lived. I don’t know if they recently lost a loved one, or if they just got engaged. I don’t know if they're carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders, or if they feel like they can fly.

The point is, I don’t know. Although I like to think I have this uncanny ability to read people… I don’t know.

This is why I want to change my approach to these kinds of interactions, and I recommend you do as well:

Instead of assuming you know something about someone, assume there is something going on that you know nothing about.

Maybe the cashier makes a mistake, and you give them a compliment because they may have had a bad day. Maybe when someone cuts you off, you let it go because they may be rushing to help a loved one who is sick.

It doesn’t matter if these things are true or not. Maybe the cashier just doesn’t like you, or the person in the navy-blue Prius wants you to crash.

Either way, it doesn’t matter, because it’s about how you treat others, not about how they treat you. What does matter is your ability to treat others as if they’re going through something that you know nothing about.

This is my focus for the rest of this week.

Although this principle doesn’t only apply to strangers, these are the interactions I want to improve on.

If this message resonates with you, I implore you to strive for the same.

Keep making progress. Change for the better. Live the Heming-way.

Til next time,

Trevor