The Paradox of Experience

A couple of weeks back I listened to the audiobook of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. Here is one of my favorite takeaways:

“The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.”

It doesn’t make sense, yet the more I think about it the more true it becomes. And I’m sure you’ve had experiences that reinforce this idea too.

Sometimes, during a long run, I feel terrible and wish I never left the house. But during that last mile, after I accept the situation I’m in, it’s not so bad anymore.

Other times, I’m about to leave work when something unexpected pops up and I have to stay longer. However, after accepting that situation I make the most of it by talking with friends while getting the job done.

By accepting a negative experience, you are rising above the spot you’re in. And when you rise above, you can make the most of where you’re at.

On the other hand, I have chased after ‘positive’ experiences plenty of times, trying to make things perfect. The problem is, by doing this you are almost forcing something to happen a certain way instead of letting it play out.

At the end of the day, we aren’t in charge of almost everything that happens in our lives; We are in charge of what we do about it.

We need both positive and negative experiences to live a great life, so why try to change one into the other?

This week, I challenge you to accept a negative experience and watch it become a positive one. Remember, it has nothing to do with the actual situation and everything to do with your reaction to it.

Keep making progress. Change for the better. Live the Heming-way.

Til next time,

Trevor